Tag Archives: meditation

Fear & Our Practice

02 June

Today I woke up with tons of emotions. Anger, frustration, fear, and who knows what else. I knew Denis would ask me what was going on. But I didn’t know, until I asked myself and told myself to be 100% honest.

The answer was, I feel frustrated that I’m 33 yrs old and I can’t afford to buy the books for my teacher training.

It took a lot of guts to admit that I don’t have the money to afford about $100 worth of books. Yes, I can put them on my credit card which is what I do with everything nowadays. But the reality is that I (like thousands of ppl here in the US), cannot pay my full balance like I used to before we open Zen Mystery. And that makes me feel like BIG HUGE failure!

I know looking from outside my life looks amazing. I live by the beach, I have two businesses, I have a loving caring husband, and I have great friends. I’m grateful for all of this. And in moments like today I have to remind myself of these, the things to be grateful for.

However, when I get to this point, when I fear for my future, it’s hard to see them. To see that the Universe has actually provide for me all these years. And to shake the feeling that all these was a mistake, takes longer, usually until I have cried and taken a breath.

I know the more selfish thing would have been to stay where I was, in my safety cushion, on a nice corner office, with my 10 years of experience as an engineer, traveling the world, and living the lifestyle that would afford me. Instead, we choose to teach, share, and open a place for the community. On days like this, I feel it was a mistake. I feel I got rid of my suit and heels too soon!! On days like this, I want to stay polishing my resume and look for a job, where it’s someone else’s responsibility to find the money to pay me.

I know I’m not alone. I know many of you feel the same way. We took the plunge, jumped in and did it and now we are barely swimming above water.

On days like this, ALL WE HAVE LEFT is OUR PRACTICE. So we need to let the tears flow and cry it out, and go back to our practice. Maybe put some music and dance it out. Because the reality is that we will learn either way, by failing or by succeeding. We just have to let go of the attachments and be patient with the process. So whether you meditate, do yoga, or anything else, keep at your practice. And know that moments like these are not a breakdown, but a BREAKTHROUGH!!

Today is my 13th year anniversary with Denis. And I haven’t even been able to enjoy it because I got stuck in this FEAR & pity party. But now I’m ready to move on thanks to a friend in FB that shared a post that made me wake up. So hopefully this post will also help you wake up and we can begin a wave of gratitude instead.

Fear & Our Practice

Denis & I, June 2nd, 2001, on our first date.

A big Hug to you…




Meditation | Where to Start

02 September

Another one of my blogs for MentalBlox.com on meditation. Many people ask me where they should start. I always recommend finding out what type of meditation will work from them and the reason is that I don’t believe meditation is well understood at the beginning. So starting with something that works for you, will help you enhance your spiritual practice.

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Three Types of Meditation

Meditation is key in spiritual growth. We hear it all the time on the internet, in the streets, on TV, etc. But most people avoid it because their image of meditation is of someone sitting still in a dark room quieting their minds. Creating a meditation routine is the first step to start, but finding the right type of meditation that works for you is most important.

Guided Meditation

In high school, attending a catholic girls-only school, I enjoyed going to mass every day. I now understand it was my meditation routine. It was a guided meditation lead by the priest. It worked for me because it is difficult to quiet my mind on my own. Guided meditation works for me the best, whether is chanting or simply visualizing the words I hear. I’m able to work on different aspects of my life, relax, and quiet my mind. You can design your own guided meditation and recorded and play back to yourself. Guided meditation can help those that are just now getting started in their spiritual path.

Dynamic Meditation

I know people who have no problem with quieting their mind. However, their issue is not being able to “quiet” their bodies. They are the ones you see in yoga not holding still the poses, not being able to sit for a long period of times and not because it hurts their bodies but because it’s simply too hard to stay put. These are the people that enjoy always being busy and physical work. These people may benefit from dynamic meditation and Kundalini Yoga, where the body is moving while meditating. It doesn’t work for me, I have to keep my body still to go deeper, but for those that find anxiety in not moving, dynamic meditation would work best.

Mantra Meditation

Choose a mantra and repeat it. For people that practice physical yoga, there might be mantras they know from their yoga class. I choose mantras from my spiritual books and chant them. I also enjoy practicing Bhakti Yoga, which is devotional yoga, a way of chanting mantras in a call-and-response way also known as Kirtan. Attending Kirtan is a way of mantra meditation and even movement meditation if you dance. Mantra mediation and Kirtan work for me because it quiets my mind and calms me. Many yoga studies offer Kirtan in addition to meditation and yoga classes, but if you are unable to find Kirtan in your area, simply play a few Kirtan CDs and sing along. Sirius XM recently launched Krishna Das radio, so if you have Sirius in your car, you can chant while driving!

Meditation comes in different forms. Finding the right type of meditation and creating a daily routine will help you grow in your spiritual path.


Which of these above would you try first? Share with us your thoughts!


Photo by InboundDen